One morning I arrived at work and found my "Thinking man" statue broken and lying on my desk with a note saying "Sorry I broke your statue. I hope it can be fixed." I threw it violently into the garbage can and it exploded into a hundred pieces. I felt like the universe was screwing with me by adding one more challenge to an already heavy load. I resented having to deal with one more disappointment when I was already doing everything in my power to stay resourceful with the challenges I was facing. Then the thought entered my head that Buddha was right. "Everything is impermanent" and I knew the way to serenity was to loosen my grip on my attachment to the statue. It was a joy for as long as it lasted and then it moved on as all things move on.
Strange night last night. I lost touch with the perception of being blessed and perceived my future as a series of activities essentially the same in which nothing really changes. I wake up, I work, I come home, maybe I go for a walk, maybe I read a book or watch TV or play the piano… then I eat or have a bath or watch more TV, then go to bed and do it all over again the next day. Day after day after day. What is the point? As I played this scenario out there seemed so little purpose to my life. This morning as I sit on my balcony listening to the ambient noise of traffic slowly building to the rush hour crescendo, the air perfectly still and the temperature comfortable, my perception encompasses more variety and abundance to my life than the drudgery of repeating the same few event over and over again, ad nosium until I die.
Do you ever feel like you are just stumbling through life waiting for the next “thing” to happen while secretly hoping that the “thing” you are waiting for will somehow improve, or at least restore some semblance of quality, in your life?
One of the things I find so frustrating is the glacial pace of positive change. It feels like life is taking me for a ride while I’m being told by the self-help gurus that all I need to do is make particular changes in my attitude and choice-making to experience the quality of life I desire.
The early hours of the morning bring with them a quiet serenity that sooths the psyche and nurtures gentle optimism. At such moments the relentless drive of mid-day accomplishments seems miles away. This quiet serenity is the sacred space where connection with spirit seems particularly accessible and appropriate. The struggles, divisions, and tensions of accomplishment have not yet awoken so the space they normally occupy in our consciousness are available to accommodate the infinite vastness of creative reflection. In this space of quiet contemplation the aspirations of the soul have room to expand and play. Not bound by Doing, they dance across my consciousness whispering the promise of potential, of wonder, of hope, and of the interconnected nature of everyone and everything in the universe. What a moment to be aware. Without the burden of distractions that will shortly and inexorably follow, a precious gift of gratitude is offered by the Universe as a balm to the frenetic pace of Doing that dominates so much of our daily life.
Happy April 1st - No fooling :)
It’s 4:30am in the morning and after heating up a cup of coffee I pick up my I-phone and walk out onto the deck of my apartment and look up at the sky. It is no longer black but that emerging shade of dark blue that promises more to come. I turn on my phone and choose the app that shows all the constellations of the sky in real time while playing soft ethereal music.
The night sky has always been a sacred space for my mind and imagination promising a glimpse into the deeper mysteries of the universe than my daily routine affords me. In this moment of appreciation and wonder of the cosmos a vail is parted in my mind and I sense that I am no longer a single person standing on a balcony but the representative of everyone, everywhere, in timeless relationship with the cosmos.
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